Your Beards Are As Disgusting And Dirty As A Toilet, Says Science

By Alyssa Pereira

Hey beard growers: next time you’re in the shower, you may want to give your facial hair some extra scrubbing. It turns out there may be some disturbing, gross particles in there that you may not want to be wearing on your face or rubbing onto your loved ones.

According to a study commissioned last week by KOAT Albuquerque, your beard is approximately just as dirty and disgusting as a poorly-maintained toilet. Yep: several bearded crew men allowed a microbiologist to swab their beard for particulates, and what they found was a revolting mess of bacteria. Most of it was normal as far as the type of bacteria beards normally pick up (still ew), but some contained traces of the same types of bacteria found in fecal matter.

Poop.

The scientists didn’t specify just how exactly these types of germs got into the mix, but we’re guessing it had something to do with some sub par hand washing, something 95% of people are guilty of.

Even the biologist was shocked. “I’m not usually surprised,” he said. “I’m surprised by this.”

To give you an idea of just how gross this is, the anchor gives a keen analogy.

“If the city was to find samples like this in the water system,” she reports, “they’d shut it down for disinfecting.”

Tasty.

UPDATE: Some readers have suggested that this article may be false, largely based on this article by The Guardian. However, based on the author’s independent research, he states that the so-called “gut bacteria” cannot be likened to excrement because “it’s not accurate to describe those bacteria on their own as faeces.” While that may be a fair point, there’s also this: “gut bacteria,” also called “gut flora” or “intestinal flora“, is the type of bacteria that by definition lines the digestive organs, and therefore, is also the type of bacteria that winds up in feces. So, while it is correct that this bacteria isn’t feces on its own, it definitely comes from a human digestive tract. We’ll let you connect the dots. 

 

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