1 World Cup, 5 Bad Hair-Dos

By Bradford Hornsby
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Mathieu Debuchy (Photo: JUAN BARRETO/AFP/Getty Images)

Mathieu Debuchy (Photo: JUAN BARRETO/AFP/Getty Images)

We are all wrapped up in the FIFA World Cup 2014 for the exciting games and the play of Team USA. It has been a fun tournament for the fanatic and the newly indoctrinated.

The biggest gripes that I have heard thus far are flopping players and the truly terrible soccer hair cuts. Not all the players have strange or ridiculous dos, some go conservative short or buzz/shaved, but the ones that do fall into these general categories of bad coifs.

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(Photos by Jamie Squire/Getty Images, JAVIER SORIANO/AFP/Getty Images)

(Photos by Jamie Squire/Getty Images, JAVIER SORIANO/AFP/Getty Images)

The Classic Soccer Hair:

It is the all-time most popular soccer do – the shaggy not quite long hair. Just picture half the guys from your High School soccer team, or NBA player Steve Nash and there you have it.

In this World Cup the hairdo is proudly donned by Roger Espinoza of Honduras, Italy’s Andrea Pirlo, and more. The do can also be accessorized with a headband or hair tie just to mix it up a little bit – a la Ivory Coast’s Gervinho.

The cousin of “soccer hair” is the late great soccer mullet as seen below on Mexico’s coach Miguel Herrera back in the nineties.

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US midfielder Jermaine Jones (L) celebrates with US midfielder Kyle Beckerman

US midfielder Jermaine Jones (L) celebrates with US midfielder Kyle Beckerman (Photo: AFP PHOTO / FRANCISCO LEONG/Getty Images)

Dreadlocks and Braids:

You will notice a bevy of dreadlocks and braids on the soccer pitch. Team USA prominently features both styles with our midfielders Jermaine Jones and Kyle Beckerman. The braids are also proudly rocked by Felipe Caicedo of Team Ecuador, Juan Guillermo Cuadrado of Team Colombia, and more.

I can’t imagine what those dreads smell like after playing ninety minutes of soccer in the hot and humid conditions in Brazil but I would not want to be Kyle Beckerman roommate!

Guillermo Ochoa

Guillermo Ochoa (Photo: OMAR TORRES/AFP/Getty Images)

The Afro/Curl-fro:

Closely related to the dreadlocks and braids, the Afro just involves occasionally washing your hair. It could also be classified as the curly headed version of classic “soccer hair.” This do also can benifit from a headband as used by Mexico’s goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa. Check out Marouane Fellaini from Belgium, Marcelo from Team Brazil, and Benoit Assou-Ekotto from Cameroon for more great examples.

And don’t forget LMFAO’s Redfoo …

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More World Cup:
Mexican World Cup Coach Miguel Herrera Has SO MANY EMOTIONS (Pics)
Artist Gives World Cup Jerseys High Fashion Makeovers
Viral Video: Minions Play World Cup Soccer

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Mario Balotelli

Mario Balotelli (Photo: DANIEL GARCIA/AFP/Getty Images)

The Mohawk or Fauxhawk:

One is a stalwart of the punk rock world, the other is a little more boy band but both are represented during almost any game in this World Cup. Mario Balotelli, the brilliant but unstable striker from Team Italy, may have the most famous of this year’s players followed closely by Croatia’s Danijel Pranjic. Seem like it may be a detriment to headers but that may be determined by the hair product used.

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Mathieu Debuchy

Mathieu Debuchy (Photo: JUAN BARRETO/AFP/Getty Images)

The Soccer Pompadour:

The “Soccer Pompadour” is a style that both David Beckham and Ronaldo have sported but in this World Cup it is France’s Mathieu Debuchy that has taken it to the next level. It is the most hipster of hair styles taking it’s cue from likes of Elvis or maybe a Euro influence from Morrissey. You can also see the pomp on Panagiotis Kone of Greece, Valon Behrami of Switzerland, and on Debuchy’s teammate France’s goalkeeper and captain Hugo Lloris.

I hope they all know how much they look like Rick Ashtley …

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